Either that loud scream was a patient yelling for help or Fred pulled the string on the bird’s tail for quitting time-
Why my cw hates me
For every hour that passes without payment, I will teach another hostage “Wonderwall” on acoustic guitar and release him back to you
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They don’t hire anyone at IKEA. People get lost there for a few years and eventually know where everything is. It’s Restockholm syndrome.
I think I might have a shower.
Yes, I have a shower.
Me: What’s wrong?
Wifi: You’re obsessed with the internet
Me: Give me one example
Wifi: Look how you’ve spelled wife
“Subpar accommodations. One star.” – Oldest known TripAdvisor rating for Bethlehem.
sorry I didn’t call the dog ate your phone number
Just watched the first half of Goodfellas, and it’s great. Being in the mob looks super fun, can’t wait to watch the second half where I assume the good times continue to roll.
You can pretend you’re a ghost at pottery barn, there’s no laws against that
Me: One of your finest farmers plz
Farmer: That’s not how this works
Me: Ok just give me some seeds & I’ll grow my own
what idiot called it a best man instead of a lord of the rings