Forget “once you go black you never go back”

I say

“For that special occasion go caucasian”

You Might Also Like


I don’t know what the big deal is.

Putting my toddler to bed is easy…

In fact, just tonight, I did it 25 times.


If anyone sees that woman drying her bra by holding it out of the car window please tell her I love her


Dear waiter,

You messed up my order because you didn’t write it down. I employed your strategy while calculating the tip.



I’m not doubting that you’re 1/8th Pond People, but this is a research paper. You can’t cite “BOG WISDOM”


Stop fingering it and put it in your mouth is not the best choice of words when speaking to your teenager about her dinner..
I know this now


The spider I let live in my kitchen is letting the bugs run amok. No free rides!
Your days are numbered missy.


My children are the reason hurricanes are named after humans.


You people that are getting sex regularly either need to keep that shit to yourselves or be more descriptive.