@delmolition
@carlyken “No, YOU’VE had too much to drink!”
~Me, to this bar stool
You Might Also Like
@carlyken 
@rustygunter If it lasts 4 hours I’m not only callin a Dr, I’m callin everybody!!
@stevevsninjas Swallowed a bunch of tiny figurines and gems before my colonoscopy, because my proctologist deserves a little mystery and wonder.
@DranoRaul I learned two important lessons today. I can’t remember the first lesson, but the second one is I have to start writing things down.
@JoParkerBear *phone rings
15: I hope it’s him!
*phone rings
25: hope it’s about the job
*phone rings
35: (handing phone to stranger) i died. tell them
@FeverFlave Stop me if you’ve heard this one
Daddy I’m full
Ok, but the kitchen is closed for the night
(after cleaning up dinner)
Daddy I’m hungry
@Adam14 A genius would have put Kevin Bacon in Grease.
@ScottLinnen Wizard of Oz (1939) A hapless brain injured teen is led down the wrong path to heroin, cosplay, organ harvesting and ultimately homicide
@JustMeTurtle If your girl takes care of animals at the zoo treat her right cause she’s a keeper.
@AKcrazy18 Running away doesn’t help you with your problems. Unless you’re fat.