@bad_as_you_want: Found my 16yr old daughters Twitter today, made her deactivate it...after I copied all of her best material to my draft folder of course
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@TheTobbie: Someone on my street has taken up the clarinet, which has inspired me to take up the sniper rifle...
@thegreatnanak: Cat: my owner is asleep. What if he is dead? Cat 911: just walk on his face and find out.
@PaperWash: [Freddy Krueger enters my dream but I'm blasting Rebecca Black on repeat] Who's nightmare is it now Freddy?!