Frequently Asked Questions:
1) You did what?
3) How dare you?
53) Don’t you know how numbering lists works?

You Might Also Like


Him:You married?

Me:Aww You think I’m that pretty?

H:Ma’am just filling out your pape-


H:I’ll tell the therapist to hurry


When you spill the batter all over the counter it’s pancakke.


playing too much GTA. starting to see traffic as “options.”


A 17-year-old can win a gold medal at the Olympics, but I don’t have enough energy to go to the grocery store and the post office on the same day.


Getting lucky during a pandemic means I just scored the last bag of doritos in the grocery store.


My husband won’t let me pick up wood at Home Depot because he doesn’t want it scratched or bent but I can take care of his children daily.


[under heavy sniper fire]
Platoon leader: where’s that sniper fire coming from?
Me [crying a fair bit]: a big gun with a telescope on it


Even my cats are sick of the snow..They meow to go out..I open the door..and they freeze and look at me like “WHY is this shit still here?”


haha remember when I was in charge of a children’s birthday party at the pottery studio I worked at and I kicked things off by saying “alright it’s jenna’s sixth birthday, pretty impressive she’s made it this far…”