Me, at concert: [ironically] Freebird!
Band: *plays Freebird*
Me: Well that backfired.
Friend: It looks like you’re packing to go on an extended vacation. Where to, the Caribbean or Hawaii?
Me: No, this is just my lunch.
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CNN admits to dating Fox News.
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I just fell down the stairs holding a guitar and accidentally wrote a One Direction song.
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Looking back at all the successes & failures in my life, I can’t help but be proud that at least the potty training thing stuck.
that’s disgusting (unless you’re up for it?)