Always the sasquatch in chains in the back of a pick up truck, never the bride.
FRIEND: Jack is sleeping, what should we do to him?
TYLER: Shaving cream.
MARK: Shaving cream.
ME: Pay off his student loans.
[they all look at me]
ME: I mean shave him.
You Might Also Like
DAD: you need to look out for people
ME: yes we’re all in this together
ME [slams on brakes] omg what was that?!
DAD: as I was saying
OMG… JUST OPENED A CUPBOARD AND ALL MY POSTAGE STAMPS ARE PREGNA-
Oh wait, it’s Ravioli.
I hate when my MacBook start breathing heavy
I’ve been hitting “remind me later” for about the last 4 years on Adobe.
That awkward moment when you blow into a bowl to get the dust off of it and the bowl blows back
Two days ago: omg, I’m so glad I found my watch, I’ll never misplace it again!
Today: *has zero clue where the hell my watch is*
“WHAT THE…SON OF A..WHY ISN’T THIS- oh.”
*takes plastic shield off razor*
I always feel ripped off when someone asks if they can “sneak by you”, but then you say yes and they just walk by and aren’t sneaky at all.
Megaman is such a hard game! I’ve beaten Ice Man & Fire man but this guy just shoots me before I can even move. How do I beat Zimmer Man?