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@pakalupapito: Friend: what time do you usually go to bed?
Me: 10:30ish sometimes 4
@BuckyIsotope: Brought a ninja to a gunfight and it was really cool. Everyone clapped. Then they shot him.
@SaltyCorpse: 16: Our teachers won't let us charge our phones. Even if we're on 1%. It's not safe.
Me: Nobody even put me in a car seat.
@SteveSuckington: Will Smith: "Jaden, I want you to star in this 100 million dollar movie with me"
My Dad: "Shut up and hold this flashlight Steve"
@JumpingJesusH: If you love a cat, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours to keep. If it doesn't, you drove far enough.
@MarfSalvador: [swimming pool]
me: do you have family changing facilities?
clerk: yes we do
me: ok what can I get for 2 sons and a wife