This is always good for a laugh.
Friends: Let’s roll a fatty
Me: I have a name guys and pls don’t
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I slipped on ice and discovered I’m a natural at break dancing
Attention fat vegans:
Body language can be so subtle that only an intuitive person can read your mood. Body slams, I have found, are far more direct.
My mother said that I looked “cheap” with my bra showing underneath my clothes – so I took my bra off.
Acupuncture for weight loss huh? I’ve had little pricks before, and they never helped me work off any pounds.
When getting rid of old clothes you have 2 options:
1. Donate to Goodwill
2. Dress every raccoon within a 5-mile radius
If you’re not cheating on me, then why won’t you let me install surveillance cameras in your house.
Mermaid: I lay the eggs
Merman: and I fertilize them
Meredith: I’m Edith, I like to watch
2: I no want to eat pasta! It too spicy!
Me: Oh ok then
2: I no wan watch Mickey Mouse he too spicy!
2: NO BATH TIME BATH TOO SPICY