@bourgeoisalien: Fun Adult Game: put your keys down. walk out of room. now try and remember where your keys are
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@vikkaroni: Me: Hello, my name is Vikki and I'm an alcoholic. Operator: Ma'am, this is AAA. Me: I know. I'm an alcoholic and now my car is in a ditch.
@chrisdowning: Whenever someone is doing math in their head, I just squint and give a good thinking face, then agree with whatever answer they got.
@HousewifeOfHell: The Good News: My doctor says I'm healthy as a horse. The Bad News: She used another large farm animal to describe my weight.
@fakegoldegg: toothpaste is a big scam. if ur tooth falls out, it stays out. toothpaste Will Not paste it back in.