@Bob_Janke

Fun experiment: Go into any store and ask for “the big stupid looking guy” see who they bring you

You Might Also Like

@markydoodoo

FUN FACT: Canada was once called Moosebekistan. You don’t know. Prove me wrong.

@nbadag

[movie theater]
TRAILER ANNOUNCER: how far will one man go…..to protect what he loves
ME: [turning to person behind me] pretty far i bet

@Jake_Vig

THEM: Hey–

ME: Ring ring. I gotta take this.

THEM: I just watched you say “ring ring.”

ME: Ring ring. Yeah, this is really important.

@PostCultRev

[lives entire life from beginning to end]
ME: Wow, I hope no one saw that

@rebrafsim

Guys I don’t think the people who run the world are very good

@VerbsRProudest

8: Mama, did you read this story when you were a kid?
Me: *smiling* Why yes, I did.
8: It’s a really old story then, I guess.

@Adam14

I still use the word “dude”.

I don’t give a dude.

I don’t use it right, but I still dude it.

@Lisa_Laughs_

I’m fresh out of hopes and dreams. Can I interest you in despair and disappointments?

@Imnotsurehow

A sure fire way to lose a afternoon, is to help a friend out when he says “come on it will only take a half hour to fix”

@Kendragarden

My neighbor said “nice skirt” so I said, “thanks, it helps me not blast Miley Cyrus at 6 in the morning, you should borrow it sometime.”