Fun fact: Snakes don’t exist. They were made up by scientists in 1923 as a joke that went too far so they just kinda rolled with it

You Might Also Like


[raises eyebrow]
[watches eyebrow graduate]
[cries at eyebrow’s wedding]


It must be almost impossible for chalk-outline guys not to turn victims’ hands into turkeys this time of year.


a black mirror episode where u text someone and they screenshot it for 27.9m ppl


Professor: “Did you just show up drunk to my exam?”

No way

“Hungover then?”


“There’s a lime wedge on your face”


One time I saw a duck get hit by a wonder bread truck and that’s pretty much why I try not to get too ambitious


Whenever I see someone crying in public, I figure they won Coldplay tickets.


I refuse to eat at restaurants that say kids are only free one day of the week. Imprisoning children is wrong.


Been flirting with this hot chick in this bar for almost a hour now. It’s only a matter of time now till nothing sexual happens whatsoever.