@ImaFlyontheWall

Fun Prank: When someone wakes from a coma, have everyone dressed in medieval clothes and welcome them back from “The Sleeping Disease”

You Might Also Like

@samalmightysam

I

T
H
I
N
K

W
E

S
H
O
U
L
D

R
U
I
N

P
E
O
P
L
E
S

T
I
M
E
L
I
N
E

B
Y

T
W
E
E
T
I
N
G

L
I
K
E

T
H
I
S

A
L
L

D
A
Y
.
.
.
.
.

@P1ssed_K1d

If “she’ll be riding six white horses when she comes”, she’s probably a little more woman than I can handle.

@WhaJoTalkinBout

My signature move at family dinners is waiting for someone to put their drink down at the table & then moving it when they go to the buffet.

@Tmoney68

Give a man a fish and chances are you won’t be asked to be in charge of buying a gift “from all of us” anymore.

@CornOnTheGoblin

[calls my boss one week after getting fired] what was my mouse sensitivity set to

@YoungFunE

My financial situation is so bad, I’M being sponsored by a child in Africa

@juliussharpe

It was the Middle Ages. There’s no way Rapunzel didn’t have lice.

@ericsshadow

A 41 year old gymnast is competing in her 7th Olympics. I just texted my son and offered him $5 to come downstairs and hand me the remote.

@Robski_Boy

I still get my ‘drive-throughs’ & ‘drive-bys’ mixed up. Which is the one where I have to take a gun?