@sara_ashlynn: Fun trick: Swap guacamole with wasabi, then watch.
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@_elvishpresley_: me: can i get a big mac employee: sir, this is a Burger King me: sorry can i get a big mac, your majesty
@SirEviscerate: BABY: WAAAAAAA- ME: Shhhh, it's okay. BABY: -AAAAAAAA- ME: shhhh.... BABY: -AAAAAALUIGI! ME: wtf BABY: (whispering) No one will believe you.
@rolldiggity: I never feel guilty about eating baby carrots because it's not like adult carrots are doing anything great with their lives.