@TheThomason: Fun way to make someone question everything: comment "you are so brave" on all their selfies.
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@ehdannyboy: I took biscuits with me on a date once. She called me a weirdo and said that biscuits was a stupid name for a cat.
@ka_waltz: every cat falls into one of the following categories: • looks like it knows how to use a sword but refuses to teach you • looks like it just finished eating an éclair
@notacroc: Me: my grandfather was George Washington Date: don't you mean your great great great great great great grandfather Me: i mean he was okay