Scientology, because even Jehovah Witnesses need something to laugh at after a hard day of knocking on doors.
“funeral” and “badminton” should just swap their first 3 letters
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Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness?
Cannoli do so much.
Now hes just a pizza history.
I was starving earlier so I opened up a beanbag chair. There were no beans, only styrofoam. Im furious, Im hungry and I have nowhere to sit.
I met a girl named Felicia tonight. Couldn’t wait to tell her bye.
No thanks Facebook Live, if I wanted to see people doing stupid things in real time I’d just go visit my family.
I have a nice body. It’s out in the trunk.
Oh you’re a Football fan? Okay then name 3 of their albums. Yeah. That’s what I thought.
Better names for porcupines:
Trainer: Are you wearing lipstick? Me: OMG no, that’s just wine.