@kidphonic: Funny how you can tell a child Santa is made up and they accept it immediately, but you tell an adult God is made up, and they throw a fit.
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@KeetPotato: me: "i re-wrote pulp fiction" director: "wow ok" [reads script] "this is literally just pulp fiction" me: "i didnt say it was different"
@InternetHippo: COP: The killer wrote a message on the victim's mirror ME: You can't prove it was me COP: It was written in Dorito dust ME: I want a lawyer
@PetrickSara: Little known fact: Young children’s bones are not the same as an adult. Children’s elbows are actually made of knives.