I’m just a girl, with a baseball bat, smashing my internet modem into a gazillion pieces.
Furious that Game of Thrones didn’t exclusively cater to me, the only person who watches it
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[at the dentist]
him: come and lie on the chair
him: not face down
This hospital has everything
It really creeps me out the way my neighbor stares at me when I’m looking through her window.
SPOILER ALERT: Rice cakes do not contain any actual cake.
Scarecrow: why aren’t u scared of me?
Batman: why would…wait. do u think I’m a crow?
SC: ur not a crow?
BM: *hurt* No *quietly* I’m a bat
my date is in 2 hours, which means I have very little time to fix my glasses and fix my bangs and get a career and lose 50 pounds
Ichabod Crane in the streets the headless horseman in the sheets
“Why are all the good ones either married, gay or the Son of God?” – Mary Magdalene.