@Kendragarden: Gay marriage is about to become legal in England. Hey, America, how does it feel when your parents are cooler than you?
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@fart: what's cool about Mitt Romney is that when you put politics aside he's still a genuinely detestable person
@Darlainky: Ours was an impossible friendship. You were a squirrel with no identifiable markings and I could never be sure if you were you.
@OctopusCaveman: Cop: Where were you on the night of Me: I was at home alone Cop: You didn’t even hear the date Me: Trust me, I was at home alone