GENE SIMMONS: What is it about me that makes people think I’m gross?


SIMMONS: Hi. Now answer my question.

You Might Also Like


Can’t get a girl? Rip out your rib and make your own! Critics are raving “this doesn’t work” and “I’m bleeding to death”.


Fun Prank
1.) Go to Yoga class
2.) Compliment some people on their mats
3.) Unroll 20×25 oriental rug.


Frog Fact: frogs have existed since time immemorial and therefore predate original sin, meaning they have no need to celebrate Easter as Christ’s death means nothing to them.


You guys, I checked. Wolves can’t blow houses down, even if they are just made of straw and sticks. It’s all anti-wolf propaganda started by Big Pork


DRACULA: I vant to suck your blood.

ME: “Want.”


ME: Wan—it’s a W.

DRACULA: Okay, my intent is clear, and the pronunciation is clearly cultural, so, this is starting to feel racist.


THEM: I have a story about that person. Someday when I’m drunk enough, I’ll tell you.
ME: [pulls bottle of wine from purse] Let’s do this.


I wonder how long until my guy friends figure out I only invite them over to kill bugs for me


Remember when you were a kid and the TV set in your basement weighed 8,000 pounds?


A hooker once showed me her dollar menu. Her meat actually did resemble McDonald’s.