If Spider-man’s powers came from a radioactive spider, the spider could have bitten and altered any other animal and I don’t want to live in a world with spider-wolves. I just don’t.
You Might Also Like
An app that reminds you, no matter how ugly you are.. someone far far away wants to bang you.
-Twitters new slogan
millennials love books because we grew up watching Beauty and the Beast, in which a woman is willing to do anything to get her hands on a library—even marry a literal bull-moose-man.
Climate change makes tornadoes evolve.
They work together.
We can’t beat them.
We team up instead
The twisters destroy ISIS.
Quarantine Level: Expert
Some people like instant gratification but I prefer mine brewed slowly from freshly ground gratification beans
Can I call my mom? She said this would never happen. Wait-will you call her? Tell her this is happening! She’ll believe you.
Forget drugs and sex.
Parents please talk to your kids about their grammar and spelling.
Coworker: Good morning
Me (suddenly realizing this is my first interaction of the day): How are go?
If I am farther than you in candy crush I will automatically think im smarter than you.