[Brings pot brownies to the PTA meeting]
– New playground approved
– All classes now held outside
*gently places finger on caroler’s lips*
you had me at “O come”
You Might Also Like
Just found out I’m pregnant. At least that’s what this expectant mother sign for my parking spot says.
I attempted smoky eye makeup for a holiday party tonight, but instead it looks like I survived a bar fight, so I’m going with that story.
mr. miyagi: sweep the leg, daniel-san
daniel-san: do i have to, sensei?
mr. miyagi: *sucks the meat off a chicken thigh, chucks it on the floor* yep. then wax my cars again, nerd
Safety inspector: I found two major issues with your Death Star. For one thing, there are no railings.
Grand Moff Tarkin: We believe railings would detract from the austerity of our bottomless chasms.
Safety inspector: That brings us to my second issue…
Me: Check it out! I’m juggling!
Wife: You’re supposed to use more than one ball.
Me: Can’t you just be happy for me?
I’m at a point in my life where I admire the majestic full trees in my yard and marvel at the amount of leaves I’ll need to rake.
I have an eating disorder; I’m about to eat dis order of fries, dis order of wings, and dis order of nuggets.
It’s too bad you unfollowed me, I was about to propose.