“africanized killer bees” are trending so it’s a good time to mention that Killer Bees are literally an escaped scientific experiment gone wrong, like in the movies
*gently places finger on caroler’s lips*
you had me at “O come”
You Might Also Like
If people post just two more scripture quotes on Facebook, I will have officially read the entire bible.
Congrats to the person that invented the wobbly restaurant table. It’s basically everywhere now.
By my calculations, I’ve spent approximately $39 throughout my life to watch bananas turn brown on my kitchen table
[God making sausages]
Angel: What’s next?
God: Take these extra parts, grind them up and stuff them in a casing
*1 angel faints, 2 vomit*
Wife: We named you after Grandma
Me: Yes that was my idea!
Grandma: They all laugh at me at school
Remove all the poles if you don’t want me stripping, Mr. Bus Driver.
Judge 1: No, sir, wait until we tell-
Judge 2: I mean, he’s not wrong
My favorite animal is fried chicken.
I hope my childhood BFF forgot that silly pact we made at five to kill each other if we hadn’t become ponies by 2015.
She was really dark.