@longwall26: *gets dragged out of daycare* DON'T LISTEN TO THEM! IT'S NOT A CHOO-CHOO! IT'S A SPOON!! IT'S STRAINED CARROTS IN A SPOO
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@causticbob: A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
@NewDadNotes: Me: got my fries just gonna open this packet of ketchup. Ketchup Packet: haha nope. Me: come on man please. Ketchup Packet: use your teeth. Me: uh what? Ketchup Packet: use. your. teeth. Me: ugh fine. [ketchup explodes everywhere] Ketchup Packet: lol.
@bighandsmassuer: People often ask me why I'm single and how surprised they are Then after speaking to me for 15 mins they say they can understand why I am