You should be able to twist the bottom of the pringles can to bring the chips to the top like a chapstick.
GF: I’m leaving you because you’re obsessed with Spanish puns and Despicable Me.
ME: Please don’t go. You’re Juan in a minion.
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There are 10 types of people in the world – those who know binary and those who other people talk to in the bar 🙂
Alfred: I’ve completed engineering on the new batmobile radar unit
Batman: That’s great and did the dishes do themselves?
Alfred: no sir
“2! 4! 6! 8! Who do we appreciate?
For Lent I’ve decided to give up my New Year’s Resolutions, now pass the Girl Scout Cookies.
The key to breaking bones is to make sure they are someone else’s.
Officer: Do you know you have a blinker out?
Me: Yes, officer.
Officer: When did you plan on getting that fixed?
Johnny Depp always looks like he is just as confused by his “accent”
Hero horse inspires millions
If I found out I only had a week to live, and could go anywhere in the world, I think I’d go to the hospital because that sounds serious.