Ghostbusters (1984): A large, jovial marshmallow sailor is burned alive amid the crossfire btwn humans and ethereal beings.

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Don’t make my same mistake. See the signs. Make a change.


Cell phone.



Not at work.

This homeless guy is living the dream from what I can tell.


Ok I just started watching House M.D.:nn1 Does everyone gang up and beat House’s other leg?n2 does a rival Token come in to challenge Omar?


ME: You coming to the party?
FRIEND: Will it be rad?-
M: -ish.
F: I guess I’ll come.
[Later at the radish party]
F: I think I misunderstood


How much is appropriate to tip the police officer who opens the squad car door for you?


You can pour up to 12 bowls of salad in your sweats before they kick you out of the Olive Garden.


Feed your kids soup for dinner, so you can sit at the table for 47 minutes and listening to slurping.


I just heated up a delicious chocolate brownie and put some ice cream on top of it & sat on the couch to enjoy it.

Seconds later, Catherine asked Samuel if he’d like a bite on MY brownie.

I faked a smile and gave him a bite.

Soon after, she asked him AGAIN.

I have no wife.


On the 5th day, god was hungover & didn’t feel up to much so he created worms, shoelaces & spaghetti, then punched out just after 1pm.


I want to have kids before my parents are too old to be able to take care of them.