@KyleMcDowell86

[Girl from Willy Wonka turns into a blueberry]
Wonka: Call in The Blue Man Group!
[Blue Man Group rolls her out while singing Eiffle 65]

You Might Also Like

@jonnysun

*hears a sound*
haha lol wat if its a ghost
*5 hours later*
wwhat if it was a ghost

@1evilidiot

Just heard the phrase naturally boneless chicken and that’ll keep me awake tonight.

@toriavaa

My friends make fun of me for having a messy car but yesterday mcdonalds didn’t give Maddie bbq sauce for her nuggets and guess what I had in my back seat??? bbq sauce so I don’t wanna hear it anymore

@Lisa_Laughs_

I’m not sure, but if I died in your arms tonight, that makes you a suspect. At the very least.

@TuSoonShakur

Gordon Ramsay: this is absolute garbage
Raccoon Line Cook: thank you chef

@JeffMyspace

When I was growing up I always loved making sandcastles with my grandmother, at least until mom started hiding the urn.

@SuSuSuDonym

Just stopped by my old high school and updated my phone number on all the bathroom stalls.