Sorry I can’t pay for a new car right now, I’m still paying off a Naked Juice I bought in 2014
Give a banana to your uninvited house guest. Hold another banana up to your ear. Only respond to questions asked thru the “banana phone”.
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*stares into wormhole*
Whoa man, cool.
*gets slapped by worm*
*worm wiggles away*
having an heated argument with my toaster.
I didn’t spend years perfecting this blank, vacant expression so you could mistake me for someone who cares, lady…
Group projects are the best
1. Get in hammock.
3. Try and get out of hammock.
5. Don’t fight it and just accept that this is where you live now.
At this point in my life, my biological clock isn’t so much ticking as it is knitting.
“I < 3 You” means I’m smaller than 3 of you.
Directions: avoid contact with eyes
“It’s Ok, Shampoo, I feel shy sometimes too.”
I’m just a boy. Standing in front of a girl. Who is changing into a werewolf. Now I’m standing in front of a werewolf.