Hey Texas, in Florida it’s legal to abort other people’s kids up to 17 years.
Give a man fish and you’ll feed him for a day…… Give a fish a man and you’re probably in the Mafia
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[australia’s first national meeting]
Do we want to make our own language?
That’s too hard, let’s keep this one but say everything weird
A ladies magazine told me to compliment my wifes booty. So I told her I was glad it wasn’t hairy. I need a place to stay
The Home Depot guy doesn’t care why we’re buying all this quicklime. Be cool. Stop sweating.
If you can’t find groceries, make friends with Indian-Americans. Like literally just show up at their house and they’ll feed you.
9 out of 10 men prefer a girl with a big rack. The 10th prefers the other 9 men.
Ostrich: OMG SOMEONE KILLED MY DAD
PLS HELP HE’S BEEN DECAPI- …wait
911: *sigh* did he have –
Ostrich: he had his head in the sand again
Accidentally mixed up Sudoku and Sepukku again. Long story short it’s a good thing I was already in a doctor’s waiting room
Who called them potatoes & not the motherchip.
Who called it “playing footsie” and not “becoming sole mates”?