@TheAndrewNadeau

[Giving my eulogy]
GIRLFRIEND: He was beloved for his many funny tweets, such as,
*Scrolling*

*Scrolling*

*Scrolling*

*Very slight chuckle*

*Scrolling*

Okay I actually don’t see any I like but he talked about it a lot, so I assume he was good.

You Might Also Like

@nayele18maybe

Him: You seem super chill.

Me: You seem like a bad judge of character.

@9GAG

Apparently Neil Armstrong used to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and follow them up with “Ah, I guess you had to be there.”

@jergarl

Me: BABE HAVE YOU SEEN MY..

Wife: Fridge.

M: Shoe?

W: Fridge.

M: How did you..

W:*reads note* Dear sober me, fridge.

M:…

W: Idiot.

@david8hughes

I went to the movies with a girl last night. I paid for the tickets & the snacks, & anything else I can before she reports her card stolen.

@thatdutchperson

“If all your friends jumped”

‘Yes’

“But if they”

‘Yes’

“But”

‘IF I EVER GET FRIENDS I’M GOING TO DO WHATEVER THEY WANT ME TO, OK MOM?

@OtherDanOBrien

*reads an article on a subject I know* This is bullshit
*reads an article on a subject I don’t know* If it’s published it must be accurate

@JimmerThatisAll

What I like about the world of Star Trek is it’s legal for any two thrusters to be engaged.