@TheAlexNevil

Giving someone wind chimes is a nice way of saying “I didn’t want these wind chimes anymore.”

You Might Also Like

@robyn_vo

Watched the movie Gravity tonight. Didn’t see as much gravity as I expected. Two thumbs down based on that.

@UnFitz

Congratulations on your gold medal in the conclusion jump.

@Northside_Mike

Decided to plant some marijuana seeds in my vegetable garden hoping I could come up with some dope beets.

@CornOnTheGoblin

[giving eulogy for friend i let borrow my jacket] ill tell you what i miss most

@VerbsRProudest

I’m sitting in my car (eating peanut butter crackers) while watching a couple in another car (who are both eating cheeseburgers) & they’re watching a guy in another car (who is eating pizza.)

@Tommytoughstuff

THERAPIST: How does that make you feel?
ME: “Mphh mophh wampph.”
T: Again, this works better if you don’t lie face down on the couch.

@Jmboyd58

There is no “I” in TEAM. But there is MEAT.

Delicious meat.