@transvagmesh
@Browtweaten
I jump out in front of you and open my trenchcoat, but I’m fully clothed. I start showing you the kittens I keep in the pockets. Are they wearing their own tiny raincoats? Heck yeah they are
You Might Also Like
@Browtweaten
@sad_tree
oh so you rich guys throw the water out after you boil hotdogs. too good for hotdog soup. too good to dab the soup on your wrists like colog
@caperbc75
First off I want to commend you for taking part in credit counselling. Now, under assets you wrote “like an onion”. Can you clarify?
@psyzod
if u disregard the teeth, shark attacks are actually kinda cute
@tastefactory
Student begins reading poem, teacher interrupts “No this is Creative WRITHING class” Other student squirms around on floor “Very good Todd”
@simoncholland
Based on all the white smoke billowing out, I think my lawn mower just picked a new pope.
@MaraWilson
I get all snooty about Great British Bake Off contestants doing things wrong like two years ago I wasn’t googling “what is shoe pastry”
@iamspacegirl
Me *writing*: she was like 12 slices of key lime pie in a dress- tart, cool, totally whipped.
Her: I can hear you.
Me: she could hear me
@Be___Dope
Reverse cowgirl, so I can eat my ice cream without sharing.