@TigNotaro: {God inventing turtles}
What if a lizard had social anxiety?
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@jackiembouvier: Social media is perfect when you're feeling sorry for yourself and your desire is to feel worse.
@somelightcrying: [think of idiom] firing on all cylinders [post tweet w/ idiom + literal interpretation] mr. on all cylinders, ur fired [wait for 100+ faves]
@shanethevein: What am I gonna do with a river? Could you cry me a beer?
@Kristen_Arnett: got to inbox zero and a feeling of wellness entered my body, my skin cleared up, immediately hydrated, perfect 20/20 vision, all my pants fit, best hair day
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