Gang tip: If a rival gang tags their symbol on your turf, don’t cover it. Add a drawing of Calvin peeing on it.
Now who’s stupid? They are!
God: take it
Satan: no you take it
God: no you take it
Satan: i dont want it
God: well its no good to me
Me: *kicks a pebble* i have a name
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*paints car camouflage*
*stops making payments*
Imagine the towering achievements in aquatecture if sawfish & hammerhead sharks ever get their shit together
Some of you won’t be ready for pumpkin spice in 2 months and it shows.
Them: ‘It’s a long story.’
Me: ‘How does it end?’
I’m so fat and poor, I only have one diabete
Whenever someone asks why I have a bandaid on I say “I was fighting a henchman on top of a moving train and I got hit by a bee”
I saw a man at the beach yelling “Help, Shark! Help!
I just laughed, i knew that Shark wasn’t going to help him.
The whole “bad boy” thing is fun until you have kids with him. Ooh you drank away the diaper money? That’s soooo hot
I will turn off your post-apocalyptic movie the first time I spot a woman with shaved pits