A missing 3YO was found inside a bowling alley claw game. After many failed attempts to get him out, police just settled on the turtle doll.
God: then u become a butterfly
Caterpillar: wow the rest of my life as a butterfly
God: yah lol the “rest”
C: how long
C:how long God
You Might Also Like
Please say a prayer for my former coworkers. They’re fine but they still work there
I don’t understand interventions.
What’s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?
Me: What’s your strongest weakness?
*Realises stupid question & thinks of cover up
M: It’s a trick question. You’re hired!
Him: What are your interests?
Me: Guns, knives, blood, drugs, cemeteries…
Wait! Where are you going? We still have 3 min
It says here on your resume that you are a “self-proclaimed man of few words.” Would you like to elaborate on that?
Oh… Oh dear… it looks like my grandmother’s embroidered pillow may have stolen your tweet.
me: i’d like to buy a data storage system
assistant: hard drive
me: yes the freeway was gridlocked
Is it racist that I only use chopsticks when eating Asian food? I’m never like, “Time for pancakes! Where are my chopsticks?”
groundhog: sorry guys, 6 more weeks of winter
everyone (sunbathing in february): ok