wife: please don’t take everything so literal at my work party
me: it’s warm in here
wife’s boss: tell me something I don’t know
me: many ppl think the witches in salem were burned to death but they were all hanged
God: you’re a cuttlefish.
Cuttlefish: yay I love hugs.
God: that’s not what I meant.
God: you have 8 arms and 2 tentacles.
Cuttlefish: for hugs?
God: [sigh] no not for hugs.
God: also you’re venomous.
Cuttlefish: [happy gasp] danger hugs!
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