@shawn_spree: If it wasn't for the internet, I would think "12 Years A Slave" was a movie about a guy exaggerating about the first 3 weeks of marriage.

@sexualjumanji: my girl 7'9 we got in a fight last night she put my car keys in a birds nest in a tree i cant reach them please help me

@4Anno: I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I'm making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it.

@jackiembouvier: I love my husband. But, what really motivates me to stay married is how much weight I'd have to lose to date again.

@noog: Me: I wish Inigo Montoya appeared everytime “literally” is misused and did his “You keep saying that word“ bit Genie: That ones on the house