[nearing end of first date]
Me: I’ll give you a call later, OK?
Her: *throws phone in river* I lost my phone.
God: you’re nocturnal.
Cricket: what does that mean?
God: it means you can only be heard at night.
God: and after bad jokes lol.
Cricket: [cricket noises].
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DATE: *looking at dessert menu* are you thinking what i’m thinking
ME: *smiling* let’s say it together
DATE: 1,2,3! ice cream
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