@Ndeshi_M

*goes to fabric store*
Do you guys have boyfriend material?

*goes to fabric store*
Do you guys have boyfriend material?

- @Ndeshi_M

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@briangaar

Girl can I ask you a question *gets down on one knee* would you like to make $8,000 a week working from home

@sploosk

ants can carry up to 5000 times their body weight?? pfft. watch this- *goes to stomp an ant but it grabs me & slams me thru a picnic table*

@XplodingUnicorn

Friend: Would you ever get a tattoo?

Me: Never

Him: You’re afraid to make a permanent mistake.

Me: *looks at my 4 kids* Way ahead of you.

@withanewname

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[I join in then kneel down gasping]
“Will you..”
“YES!… YE..”
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@sixfootcandy

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@junejuly12

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@SortaBad

Im tired of being politically correct. If I want to wish someone a Happy Honda Days, I’m gonna do it. I don’t care what they drive, that’s their problem

@peteholmes

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@GuyEndoreKaiser

Oh you’re sick? Let me weirdly list every other person I know who’s sick.