@kibblesmith

Good morning, here are some ABBA songs that could also be about Mario:

• Mamma Mia
• Money, Money, Money
• Super Trooper
• Name of the Game
• I’ve Been Waiting For You
• The Winner Takes It All

Please let me know if there are any more.

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@abbycohenwl

I’m sorry your baby is crying right now. Have you tried taking it farther away from me?

@stevevsninjas

[driving date home]
me: where do I drop you off?
her: here is fine
me: you live on the beach?
her: *walks into sea*

@fro_vo

[spelling bee]
Your word is “echo”
can you use it in a sentence?
SENTENCE entence en????? ???? ??

@DiamondLou69

Is a person diagnosed with a Multiple Personality Disorder able to get a group rate from their therapist? Just asking for some friends.

@LifeUnPinterest

Just pulled a spoon out of the leg of my toddler’s footie jammies and am comforted to know she’ll do well in prison.

@SteveKoehler22

What a shocker.

I just ran my car through the car wash.
And it turns out the car is white.

@fuzzlime

*finally gets comfortable with you*
*starts whispering in your ear*
“oooo baby I can recite all my phobias in alpha order”