@leifromloihi: good morning, this is your captain speaking. my parents made sure that from a young age i understood that there are things worse than death.
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@clemdytan: I shot my first Turkey today. Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section, it was awesome!
@DanMentos: [commercial] "This commercial is so confusing. I wish they would just tell us what they're selling" narrator: Narrators
@michaelianblack: Internet, just because I bought shoes from you once doesn't mean I'm going to do it again. You're coming across as desperate.