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@UncleDuke1969: Good thing he found a cart, because that looks really heavy.
@Kyle_Raney: Relationship status: held a door open for a girl, so she used the other one
@Love_bug1016: [first date]
Him: I love Asian girls
Me: [trying to act all Asian]
*attempts to pick up chopsticks
*chopstick goes flying
*stabs him in the eye
Him: No, not like that
@blainecapatch: just took the "what's your social security number?" quiz on facebook
@CHUUZUZ: It's been 7 years since Prince told Kim Kardashian to get off the stage.
@simoncholland: You know what has zero calories and zero carbs? A nap.