I just found out that his full name is actually Vehicle Identification Number Diesel.
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If my calculations are correct, then someone else did them for me.
I’m quitting modelling, I need more job security so I’m going to become a princess.
me: wats ur favorite cheese
me: o thats ok let me kno when u remember
Se7en, but instead of deadly sins, the murders are based on different Smurfs.
MOM ITS NOT A DOLLHOUSE IM PRETENDING TO BE A GIANTE THATS TERRORIZING A FAMILY GOSH *waits for mom to leave* and im makig them have tea
Interviewer: So you were a Chernobyl tour guide?
Me: Yes, I was.
Interviewer: I see you have glowing reviews.
Me: Yeah, you might want to put those down.
judas: i would never betray jesus he’s the best
jesus: my favorite movie is the Minions Movie
judas: i am going to betray the son of God
I checked my phone while I was mowing the lawn and now we don’t have a garden.
flight attendant: sir, you can’t bring that cow manure on the plane
me: THIS IS BULLSHIT!