@Kyle_Raney: Relationship status: held a door open for a girl, so she used the other one

@Love_bug1016: [first date] Him: I love Asian girls Me: [trying to act all Asian] *smiles *starts sweating *attempts to pick up chopsticks *fumbles *chopstick goes flying *stabs him in the eye Him: No, not like that

@blainecapatch: just took the "what's your social security number?" quiz on facebook

@CHUUZUZ: It's been 7 years since Prince told Kim Kardashian to get off the stage.

@simoncholland: You know what has zero calories and zero carbs? A nap.