@lafix: good work, everybody
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@KamanCider: Remember kids, if a stranger offers you drugs, say thank you because drugs are expensive.
@batkaren: SIRI: Turn left in 100 feet ME: [drives past turn] SIRI: [exhales loudly in exasperation]
@illiter8too: ME: I call bullshit getting kicked out of IHOP bc my anxiety falcon isn't tethered; that pug's not leashed. HOST: Ma'am, that's a toddler.
@: Dude I’m the worst when it comes to packing for trips. Like I know I won't need 20 pairs of underwear for a 5 day trip but what if I pee my pants twice every single day I'm there