@3sunzzz

[Googling]

How many calories in a glass of white wine?

*45 minutes later*

[Googling]

How many calories in a bottle of white wine?

You Might Also Like

@mom_tho

Husband: Did you just change from one set of pjs to another?

Me:

H:

Me:

H: …you look great

@suz1973luq

Text exchange: me- we need eggs. hub- how many? Me- One. See if they will sell you just one.

@PhuckinCody

[walks into interview wearing light up Sketchers]
WALMART INTERVIEWER: whoa I didn’t know corporate was coming

@Adam14

I don’t know why people say life is short….this seems to be taking forever.

@LizHackett

I attempted a smoky eye for a Zoom pitch, but instead it looks like I survived a bar fight so I’m going with that story.

@meghaffer

Raisins are just grapes pretending not to be past their “sell by” date

@not_thenanny

I was in my closet and my 4YO walked in right past me, pulled out a box I had NO idea was in there, got out a lollipop and a dinosaur toy he fought his sister for yesterday, put the box back, and walked out.

I am equal parts impressed and terrified right now.

@lifecoachfit

I’m not gonna let something like a restraining order get in the way of a love as special and unique as ours.

Shhhhh. Stop crying.