Husband: Did you just change from one set of pjs to another?
H: …you look great
How many calories in a glass of white wine?
*45 minutes later*
How many calories in a bottle of white wine?
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Text exchange: me- we need eggs. hub- how many? Me- One. See if they will sell you just one.
[walks into interview wearing light up Sketchers]
WALMART INTERVIEWER: whoa I didn’t know corporate was coming
MY NECK. MY BACK. MY PJ’S AND MY SNACK.
I don’t know why people say life is short….this seems to be taking forever.
I attempted a smoky eye for a Zoom pitch, but instead it looks like I survived a bar fight so I’m going with that story.
Raisins are just grapes pretending not to be past their “sell by” date
I was in my closet and my 4YO walked in right past me, pulled out a box I had NO idea was in there, got out a lollipop and a dinosaur toy he fought his sister for yesterday, put the box back, and walked out.
I am equal parts impressed and terrified right now.
I’m not gonna let something like a restraining order get in the way of a love as special and unique as ours.
Shhhhh. Stop crying.