Drummer’s pissed because the guys in the band say drums aren’t a real instrument. He says, “I’ll show them–give me the red cornet and the accordion.”
Instrument store guy says, “Well you can have the fire extinguisher, but the radiator has to stay.”
Got kicked out of the grocery store. Apparently yelling “LET THE BEETS DROP!” And throwing them at the ground is not acceptable.
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The joke is on you, fruit flies. We don’t even have any fruit.
Before marrying him please check the size of his head, things are not funny in the labor room😏
If they criticize your driving, look them straight in the eye while you turn their airbag off.
The year is 2057. iPhone 742 is released. The screen touches you.
Well that was embarrassing
– my headstone
“Remember six seconds ago when you were comfortable?”
– oscillating fans
her: i’m going to a concert
me: to see who
her: Bad English
me: sorry, to see whom
FYI: I guess the goal of bobbing for apples is not who can drink all the water.
I’ve got 99 problems,
but my OCD wants one more.