@Dani_Feld: I fed the cows marijuana. The steaks have never been higher.

@rad_milk: I dropped a piece of cheese on the airplane and i know it rolled forward and some piece of shit in first class is enjoying it now

@longwall26: Cat Negotiator: Ok, so we'll shit in a box in your house and you will clean it up Humans: And you will be a loyal friend Cat: hahahaha sure

@Robski_Boy: Went to see a psychic without an appointment and he wasn't expecting me ?

@AngryRaccoon2: My mother: *brings over crap every time she visits* Also my mother: "You sure have a lot of crap."