Stupid cats, can’t even YOLO
Grabbing the hands of my elevator companions and explaining that I have a fear of flying.
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I’m a club photographer, I take pictures at the club and people pay me to delete them
Distance doesn’t matter.
You can make someone miserable from anywhere.
ME: *holding door wide open for her*
HER: Are you saying I’m fat?
Date: do you wanna come up for coffee?
Me: no thanks. I hate stairs
Date: coffee means sex
Me: how many stairs?
netflix has the worst movie selection no wonder everyone just starts having sex
A smart car easily passes my Jeep on a hill. “Hey, that’s not right” yells a jogger, who also easily passes my Jeep on a hill.
I would have suggested they just use a regular volleyball, but I guess the Olympics are special.
If you use the word “ridonkulous” or “ginormous,” chances are you’re a retardiot.