*does something weird*
*looks around for witnesses*
*sees no one*
*does something weird, LOUDER*
Grandmas be like, “My grandchild murdered someone? Oh, poor baby was probably just overtired.”
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I just opened an email from the vet wishing my dog a happy birthday.
I replied asking them to call her because she can’t read.
Everyone complains about the weather but no one ever wants to sacrifice a virgin about it.
Lol. If u can’t pass, atleast confuse the teacher 😆😅🙉
day 1: hungry
day 2: hungry
day 3: hungry
day 4: ate neighbor
On TV no men can tie a necktie but all women can and there’s no backstory to explain it
Brain: Don’t do it.
Brain: Keep your mouth sh-
“Honey, you’re wrong.”
Brain: I give up.
I “pet zone” girls. It’s like the friend zone, but, I only hang out if your dog will be there.
if youre a healthy young male or female with blood type O, please consider donating a kidney to me. my goal is 22 kidney ‘s