@ScorpionDong
What do we want?
-SHITTY MUSIC COMPILATIONS!
When do we want them?
-NOW! THAT’S WHAT I CALL MUSIC
@SmiggieBalls2
*grandpa in hospice*
“son your generation relies on technology too much”
“no gramps”
*pulls the plug*
“yours does.”
beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
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@ScorpionDong
@_Bluntsage
*At an auction*
Me: So…I’m outta cash. 😬
Host: What now? 🤨
Me *bids farewell*
@McGrumpenstein
canadian assassins are called killergrams
@KenJennings
Friday night is my weekly time to ponder…which do I hate more: my friends, or having to make new friends?
@supermarkusa
Jehovah Witnesses are excited because now they Know y’all are gonna be home when they come knocking on the door.
@Go2Slp
4: can we name the baby Yoko?
Me: well Yoko is a Japanese name
4: if the baby is Japanese can we name it Yoko?
Me: …
4: …
Me: yes
@sip_at_home_mom
I’m finally putting that giant exercise ball to use, and my core is hurting from laughing at Toddler Dodgeball.
@AnOrangeSNES
On the periodic table, the elements are represented by two groups. The symbols and the atomic number.
Law and Order: Atomic Mass Unit
@Darlainky
“No retreat, no surrender!” -senior citizen who doesn’t know how to put their scooter in reverse and just plows over everything.
@delusions_of
THIRD RULE OF FIGHT CLUB: Only one juice box per person.