@farleftcoast

Grapes for breakfast it is!

Beautiful, fermented, aged, liquified grapes.

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@sweetmomissa

Being a parent involves saying “this is NOT a democracy” a lot more than I thought it would

@benmekler

Called my mom to check on her and we wound up arguing over whether Shrek is Jewish

@sonictyrant

If you play any Radiohead song backwards it gives you the directions to a hip little sushi place in New York.

@myqkaplan

“should i go into the arts?”

“can you imagine yourself doing anything else?”

“no”

“then i wouldn’t go into the arts, with no imagination”

@LuvPug

I just ate some leftover mashed potatoes out of my hair, and I don’t even remember having mashed potatoes

@offbeatoliv

Spongebob would be more realistic if he had an abrasive side.

@VisionBored1

My kids wanted to watch Netflix and I wanted them to go outside so now they’re watching Netflix on my laptop outside

@Browtweaten

[antique store]

customer: I want something new for my living room

me: do… do you know what antique means