My GPS thinks we should see other drivers.
Grapes for breakfast it is!
Beautiful, fermented, aged, liquified grapes.
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If I was a pug, nobody would give me funny looks for slobbering in public or eating food off the floor.
I wish the entire planet could come together as one and agree to refer to Kanye as Kanye Kardashian so we can bask in his shattered ego.
when my daughter is mad she points at me and delivers what I can only assume is a gypsy curse
Shake what yo mama gave you! Oh she just handed you a child. Don’t shake that
Hillary: if we aren’t careful donald trump could be our next president. Let that sink in
Clinton Aide: *opens door*
Sink: sorry i’m late
Dinosaurs probably spelled Tuesday, ‘Ptuesday’
“Wow you’re one of the nicest old ladies I’ve ever met!”- me, loudly to a random old lady so my mom can hear
Perhaps Nicki Minaj just lost a series of bets.
Cotton candy is just flavored spider webs