@jonnysun

graphic design students be like i have a alphabet due on friday

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@climaxximus

[family get together]

mom: has anyone seen grandmas dentures?

me with 64 teeth: ramma losht hur wat now?

@JimmerThatisAll

I thought it would be good for the environment if I had less grass to waste water on so I put a pool in.

@BGH70

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “what if Cartman grew up and became president?”, well…

@Tachyon100

A big difference between men and women I’ve found is that if a woman says ‘smell this’ it’s likely to smell nice.

@MoistPork

Men: Don’t lie to your woman, she’ll catch you. Don’t tell her the truth, she’ll be pissed. Just pray for a brick to fall on your head.

@carrietini

According to maxipad commercials, all women are full of blue windshield washer fluid.

@galvinchow

PASSWORD EVER, USERNAME GREATEST *username/password must each contain at least one numeric character* PASSWORD 9EVER, USERNAME GREATEST6